Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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