Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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