there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
