What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
