Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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