my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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