And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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