i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
