2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
