shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
