Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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