I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
