I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
