But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
