Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
