I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
