In the future we'll all be gay
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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