The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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