fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
