are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
