you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
