Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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