love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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