i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
