By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
