I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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