First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
