Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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