Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
