Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
