He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
