four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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