I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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