So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
