i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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