We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
