What a fucking waste of an outfit
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
