Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
