I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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