He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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