it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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