If i come over, it means nothing
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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