What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
