Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sarcasm needs its own font
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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