He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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