Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
