oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
