you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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