I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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