I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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