Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
