Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
