I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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