Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
