piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
