Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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