I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
