go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize