Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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