Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
