Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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