she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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