So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
