I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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