god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
